Warning: The following post contains a cursory mention of sexual assault and bio-dick, spanking, a play party, blowjobs, suspension, a cursory mention of needleplay, and some other kinky/queer/poly things. Please read responsibly.
The last time I went to a play party it ended in creepiness, anxiety, and disappointment, but I think this time was different. I say “I think” because so much happened and my head still isn’t screwed on quite right. I lost an entire jar of (tasty tasty maraschino) cherries this weekend and some of them make me blush and others make me cringe and some are still causing occasional bouts of euphoria when I think of them, but it occurred to me this week that my life is starting to become what I wanted it to be when I was 14 years old. In 10 years (hush, I’m a youngin’), I can really start to look back and say I did it. It’s still, however, very hard for me to claim specific goals as accomplished. I have a really hard time feeling that I’ve succeeded. A really hard time. So when I say I “had the realization,” I really kind of mean it. I mean that I just sort of woke up this week and went: wow, I have fabulous queer friends and partners and lovers and I’m kinky and poly and use alternative pronouns and wear bowties and am launching my own freelancing career and this is who I am and it’s great!
So I’d like to start a new tradition here: a jar of cherries. I think it’s time that I (and we) celebrate our milestones and our firsts. When we’re young there are so many firsts: first day of school, first test, first word, first step, first birthday, first broken heart, first kiss, first first first first…but as we get older, we stop recognizing or celebrating the firsts. We become a little heavier and a little sturdier and a little more weighed down by countless repetitions of tooth-brushing or paper-writing or candle-lighting. What happened to celebrating our firsts?
I’m going to celebrate my firsts. Here. (Or at least, the sexy-kinky-poly-queer-trans* firsts…)
I’m going to collect a jar of cherries.
The first additions to this jar?
Cherry 1: First Watched Suspension
I remember this one the best. I watched two very lovely human beings (Q and Kailin) self-suspend and it was breathtaking. I kind of can’t believe I’ve gone this long without ever seeing someone suspended, but it’s true! I can’t get the image of Q letting himself fall gracefully into an inverted suspension, back arched and eyes gleaming. Just stunning. I’ve been converted to the cult of rope.
Cherry 2: First Play Party Scene
This one makes me all shy. I was lucky enough to participate in TWO scenes, but I suppose the official cherry has to go to the first one with Max which was surprisingly spontaneous albeit simple. Simple in a good way. There was a massage and then a lovely little spanking that left me high for hours…and the potential for more soon which makes me squirm. Fuck I needed to get hit like that. It’s been long…way too long and Max was, well, kind of sublime.
Cherry 3: First Viewing of a Bio-Cock Post-Assault
Bet you never really expected to see this up here. Neither did I really. I’m not entirely sure this was a positive thing, but I can’t fully say it was a negative thing either.
Cherry 4: First Public Top-Nudity
When I’m around people I trust, the clothes come off pretty easily. When I’m around complete strangers, some of whom are white, hetero, cis, 40+ dominant men, the clothes do not come off nearly as easily, but I spent a small hiccup of the night topless whilst being massaged/spanked and much more of the night bra-less (equally as big a deal). I am the proud.
Cherry 5: First Watched Needleplay
Blood and metal sliding through flesh? Not really my thing. Amazing reactions from hot bottoms? Count me in.
Cherry 6: First Public Spanking Received
Am I allowed to count things twice? ;)
Cherry 7: First Public Blowjob Given
This was the scene that got kicked out of “first play party scene” by a matter of hours. Near the end of the night a pre-planned scene between Max, Kailin, and I. Hot. Stunningly hot. Kailin and I kneeling at Max’s feet and taking turns sucking her off, Kailin’s hand subtly on my cock, Q watching from the sidelines. Fuck, there’s little I love more than being on my knees with a cock in my mouth and a fist in my hair being told I’m a good boy.
Cherry 8: First Pickle Blowjob Watched
No seriously. That happened. And let me tell you a little secret: Max gives really good head. I was far too turned on watching this scene.
Cherry 9: First Drop
I find it absolutely bizarre that I’ve never really experienced drop until this week. The high lasted about half a day before it faded and then plummeted. I can’t say I’m too fond of drop, but It also signifies I came from some high point, and that’s a thing of which to be happy.
Cherry 10: First Knot Learned
This just happened last night, but I’m including it here because of cherry jars and lack of motivation to post things often. Kailin taught me a handful of knots last night (single column tie, double column tie, square knot, half hitch, how to reverse tension, somerville bowline) and it was intimate and kind of awesome.
Cherry 11: First Kiss in the Snow